My other worse news........

Friday, October 20, 2006

Part 2....my other worse news.... Current mood: distressed Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes well....you all know that i am unexpectedly expecting a baby......alone.... i just found out this morning that there might be a problem.....a very serious problem..... i had some blood tests done a bit ago...and got the results this morning..... i have spent the day crying off and on.....and praying very hard for a good outcome..... i will be attending an appointment with a genetic specialist on Monday morning.....and i will have to decide what to do next.... i am not panicking....these current results do not mean the worst for sure.....it just means that there is an increased chance of a serious chromosomal disorder..... i will probably decide to have the further tests done....even though i told myself a while back that i would never do it....for i would want to let nature take it's course.... well now i am rethinking that plan.....this test will involve having a long needle inserted into my abdomen.....and drawing out of fluids....this is called amniocentesis to those of you that have no idea.... i am frightened to have this procedure for in rare cases....there is a slight chance this can cause miscarriage..... it is an accurate test....for diagnostic reasons...but what if i am one of those that end up losing a perfectly healthy baby....all because i had to know something that wouldn't change things for me.... part of me wants to know....but then what..... if the results are bad...what will i do... nothing.....wait and take what i get.... spend the next 5 months waiting for something horrible to happen.... or spend the next 5 months wondering..... what will the outcome be..... what should i do.....(rhetorical question...i am not looking for an answer....) i am going out of my mind here..... i sure wish that i had a partner right about now.... cause a big hug sure would go a long way.... the condition is called trisomy 18........ " Trisomy 18 is also called Edwards syndrome (or Edward's syndrome) and occurs in about 1:3000 live births. Unlike Down syndrome, Trisomy 18 is usually fatal, with most of the babies dying before birth and those who do make it to birth typically living only a few days. However, a small number of babies (<10%)> " The extra genetic material from the additional eighteenth chromosome can cause a variety of problems with varying severity. Just as children with Down Syndrome can range from mildly to severely affected, so can children with Trisomy 18. Therefore there is no hard and fast rule about what Trisomy 18 will mean for your child. However statistics show that there is a high mortality rate for children with Trisomy 18 before or shortly after birth. Some of the typical characteristics of Trisomy 18 can include heart defects such as VSD (Ventricular Septal Defect - a hole between the lower chambers of the heart) , ASD (Atrial Septal Defect - a hole between the upper chambers of the heart), and coarctation of the aorta (a narrowing of the exit vessel from the heart), kidney abnormalities, omphalocele (a portion of the intestinal tract is located outside the stomach in a sac), esophageal atresia (the esophagus does not connect to the stomach, meaning the baby cannot eat by mouth), and polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid), clenched hands, choroid plexus cysts (a pocket of fluid on the brain that is not problematic in itself but may be a marker for Trisomy 18), rocker bottom feet, and delayed growth, micrognathia (small jaw), low-set ears, and a strawberry-shaped head, as well as severe developmental delays." so there it is.... i am not looking for answers....attention.....or sympathy.....so people that don't know me....don't think of this as attention seeking....just go away.... those of you who know me.....please understand that for the next while i am not going to be myself....i may be around....i may not be....i do not how i am going to get through this.... i don't know if there is a god that lets this stuff happen....or what the deal is with this...but at this point i am not about to turn my back on god... i will pray....and ask those of you that have your faith to pray also....that is all i ask.... thanks....god bless......i love you all.....xoxoxo....