To my friends and family

Written August 10, 2006

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,

fyi...I AM WRITING THIS TO ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS MISHAP.......

there are consequences for all behaviors...whether we like it or not....i recently made a decision to partake in something that had been lacking in my life in many years...

those of you that know me know that my marriage has been over for many years...over 4 to be exact....i bided my time until i no longer could before i had my husband removed from the marital home....it could not be avoided any longer....due to safety concerns for all involved...

needless to say...4 years without someone in your life is a very long time.....i got married because i wanted to share my life with someone...it did not work out...

i still want to share my life with someone....i just don't know who yet....these things take time to figure out........

i recently met a man that i instantly felt at ease with....our whirlwind romance only lasted several days....but left us both feeling satisfied....and torn.....when it came time to part...for pre-determined reasons...

he had already begun a journey that had taken years to plan & prepare for.....his journey brought him here...to my hometown.......that part of it was pre-planned.....the following few days were not....

long story short......we parted ways on July 8...in a little park by a river.....i drove away and left him standing there.....it was very emotional for both of us....

as the days went by we maintained regular contact...i always know where he is.....on Saturday, July 22....i awoke feeling a little strange....familiar feeling tho.....i found out that morning that i am expecting his baby....

my immediate reaction was not a good one...i screamed....& cried until i could cry no more....i knew i had to tell him....

i decided that the best way to do it would be to his face...my eldest boy Brendan accompanied me on a long quest to find this man....as he is riding his bicycle to BC...for a variety of reasons......

we found him along the Trans-Canada highway...about 20mins east of Marathon....he was very shocked to say the least....we embraced and said our hello's......and then i had to tell him the real reason that i was there....

he took it better than i expected....he did not scream & cry as i did....he was very shocked as he was under the assumption that it was impossible for me to conceive......as was i.....

...abstinence is the only thing guaranteed 100 per cent safe.......

upon finding out about the baby.....he wanted to visit together in Marathon....which we did...we had a very nice visit for several hours.....i had to leave by midnight that night to be home by 10 a.m. the next morning...parental obligations.......

a few weeks have passed and i have come to accept this little bundle that God has placed in my very capable hands....

i wish that i could change what has happened...but i cannot.....i have not lied to anyone....blame me if it makes you feel better......i can take it.....