The Day After......

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Current mood: lonely Category: Life Well, it's been a long day. Last evening we laid Bennett to rest. The outdoor air was cool and damp....the air smelled of the newness of spring, but of despair as well. As we stood next to the open grave, each of my 4 sons released a helium filled balloon with a daisie tied to it.....into the heavens. Chadlen and I handed out fresh daisies of all colours to everyone in attendance......to be placed on Bennett's casket was he was lowered into the ground. It was unbelievably difficult for each of us in attendance....but no one hurt more than Chadlen & myself. How does one celebrate the birth of a newborn son at the beginning of the week.......and then bury him 12 days later. He was only 8 days old. It is written in the Book of Life, that each of us is here for only a pre-designated amount of time. Bennett knew his fate before coming to earth, but agreed to it anyway. I believe he did know his time was short......for the quality of the life he gave us during our brief time together cannot be measured by words. He was on a mission here......my sweet Nimkee was a messenger, with so much to say. Last evening a woman approached Chadlen & I prior to the service, telling us that our son kept appearing before her several times the evening before, throughout the night, and into the early morning. She said she saw him clearly.....he was dressed all in blue. He was persistent.....he would not go away. Finally, he was able to lead her to a book that she had not looked in many, many years. He told her that inside the pages of that book was an old envelope covered in writing. He wanted her to share it with his parents, especially his mom, because he knew I was having great difficult letting go of him. She reached between the pages and found it.....long forgotten. Here is what it said: I give you this one thought to keep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints in the snow, I am the sunlight on the ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the mornings hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of the quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not think of me as gone, I am with you still, in each new dawn. I always knew he was a special boy, sent from heaven above for a very special task. He is a messenger....with much he has already shared......i will save those stories for another time. Bennett passed away on Good Friday......and returned home to rise again in our hearts on Easter Sunday..... Coincidence......we think not.