First Ultra-Sound Tomorrow

August 27, 2006

well, it is Sunday night.....i have had a very long and stressful weekend.......

yesterday morning i went to the hospital to the emergency dept. after waking with some minor pains which caused me a bit of concern........the doctor examined me and found me to be large for my dates...which can only mean one of two things.......

there may be multiple fetuses......or a growth in my uterus that should not be there....hopefully it is neither....but what else could it be......

i had some bloodwork done and will not be able to get any results until tomorrow as they have to send the blood to the nearest city lab that is almost 2 hrs away.......so i have had to spend the weekend not knowing if i have a live fetus....more than one fetus......or some sort of tumor inside of me......or something called a molar pregnancy.....which is awful.....and rare....and can only be surgically removed......

so i will spend the next 16 hrs unsure of my fate.....and the fate of my unborn baby.....

i will attend tomorrow's appointment with a really great friend of mine by the name of Pam.....we have been lifelong friends for 30 years now....

she has offered to come with me and support me through whatever the outcome will be....as i am on my own here right now....for how long i do not know.....maybe for good.......maybe not......only time will tell......

all i know is that this is a situation that i cannot walk away from......mother's seldom take that option anyway......and it's usually for the best when they do.....for someone cannot be forced to be a parent against their wishes.....it is not fair for anyone....and only leads to resentment and neglect in the long run......

but i am blessed with some really great friends.....that love me and support me by choice....and that makes me feel great........as my family is not really good at expressing love and support at times....especially in situations like this.....and when they do i really have to wonder if it only done out of obligation.....or to save face with their peers.......

but my friends are not obligated at all....and i love you all so much....i have received so many offers of support, assistance...and best wishes among my friends and community members....many are only great acquaintenances.....and some are just well-meaning strangers.....but i appreciate everyone's concern's and prayers none the less......

for i am known among my peers as someone that does whatever i can for those in need.....friends or not.....i may not have a lot of money.....but i do have a pure desire to make a difference in this world.....

but it is a journey that begins at home......and from there extends to those in need......what i lack in financial funds.....i can more than make up for it with compassion and generosity.....

and anyone that really knows me knows that this is true.....

a friend in need.....is a friend indeed.......

my message to all who read this is simple really.....and does not involve anything more than a bit of your time.......

the next time you see someone that could really use a hand....or an ear....extend one.....the payment in return is worth so much more than money......when i know that i have helped someone and made a difference in their lives.....i feel really good about me.....because i know that i cared about someone more than i did for myself for a few moments in my life....which is really just a drop in the bucket compared to the number of moments we spend indulging in ourselves.....and our own needs....

kudos to my fellow generous friends......remember......what goes around , comes around........so help someone today.....and may you reap the rewards tomorrow when and if you ever find yourself in need......

**peace to you and yours.....today, tomorrow, and forever**........